Another Year Gone By

It's been a year and nothing much has changed. I love my parents but I'm struggling under the weight of dealing with their health issues. Yes, they have pretty active social lives despite their health challenges, but it's getting harder for them. My mom now has a cool walker - but she refuses to take it with her because "It doesn't fit in the car". I guess it's easier for her to waddle....or not be able to go places :( I'm concerned about her because she is making many errors when it comes to recognizing people and calling them by name. We were at a Bridal Shower on Sunday and she thought a very large blonde was our friend, Molly. Uhm - Molly is a petite brunette. My dad has gotten to the point where he cannot write things by hand any more. He can sign his name but he cannot fill out a check. It's not that he's incapable of writing due to physical problems - his brain won't give his hand the proper directions. For the most part he appears to understand things he reads but he can't read out loud any more. Beginning readers can read more fluently than him :( I'm not sure how much longer we will be able to allow him to drive. My dad's frustrations are taken out on my mom. He gets angry over things and yells at her. I am concerned that he could sink into physical action and if that happens, we will have no choice but to put him somewhere where he will be cared for. It's hard to see this incredibly larger than life man diminishing into a shell of his former self. He is still able to "bluff" his way through for the general population, but those who are closest to him know the truth. I keep encouraging my dad to smoke his cigars. I don't want to see him institutionalized for a long period of time. I would much rather have him simply go to sleep one night and not wake up. It won't ever be easy to say goodbye to him but that would be preferable to him being completely unable to care for his basic needs.