Introduction

     I am 50 years old.  I have never been married.  I spent 25 years as a high school teacher but have been on a medical leave for the past year.  I have a younger brother and younger sister, both of whom are married.  I am the only one who lives in the same town as our parents.  My sister and her family live three hours away while my brother and sister-in-law live a thousand miles away.  My mom is 74 and my dad is 72.  Comparatively, they are still pretty young.  Both of them have longevity in their family history, so it's not unreasonable to expect them to have at least 15 years left.  My parents spend the winter months at our beach home in south Georgia.
     My mom is a breast cancer survivor of nearly 24 years.  She is an insulin dependent diabetic.  She is obese and get little physical activity. She does play golf several times a week, but she drives a cart.  She suffers from lymphedema and venous insufficiency in her lower legs.  They look awful!  The skin is severely discolored and thin.  Her lower legs are very misshapen.  She also has knee and hip problems and struggles to walk properly.  She would prefer to "waddle" instead of getting her knees replaced.  She has a recumbent bike in her kitchen but doesn't ride it regularly.  She claims she does, but it's not even plugged in.  She is almost always sitting down watching TV and working on her counted cross-stitch.
  My dad has had heart problems since he was in his mid-20's.  We had been told he had a heart attack at age 27, but we've since learned that wasn't the case.  At age 40 he collapsed while teaching and we discovered he had a problem that required him to get a pacemaker.  He's had it replaced several times.  One year ago (last March), he had a heart attack, which led to a triple bypass.  He appears to have fully recovered from that.  The more disconcerting problem, is his memory.  He has been having problems for over a year, now.  In January 2012, he admitted he was struggling to remember what specific letters looked like and how to spell certain words.  I got him to agree to get help and my mom tried to get him into Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, FL.  Because they couldn't get in right away, she gave up and that was it.  My dad has continued to struggle - mostly with words, letters, and symbols - and finally this past fall, his neurologist sent him to a neuro-psychologist.  The test results weren't good but instead of following through, the ball was dropped.  There was an opportunity to see a doctor in Indianapolis but the appointment they had available conflicted with a presentation of an award to my dad, so instead of asking if the presentation could be done some other time, they didn't make the appointment.  Yes, the award was great, but this is his life!
  My mom has supposedly been trying to get my dad into Mayo's now for this winter but once again, it's not been possible.  I just keep hearing from people that it should be no problem to get an appointment and that he doesn't need any referrals from doctors, yet we can't get him in.  Finally my brother stepped up and was able to get our dad into a neurologist in Tampa.  My parents drove to Tampa on Sunday and my dad met with a neurologist.  He had blood work and additional memory tests today and tomorrow he will have an EEG.  They have a follow-up with the neurologist on Friday.  We are praying we have some answers.  However, I'm not sure if we're ready for what those answers might be...
  My dad's mother and aunt both had Alzheimer's.  We are very concerned that he has it and his fear is making him difficult to live with.  Whatever the outcome on Friday, I would love for my dad to get counseling in order to deal with whatever this is.  I am concerned for my mom as she often bears the brunt of his hostility.  He is verbally abusive to her, even though he says he adores her.
  As I am the only one who lives close to my parents, I am feeling the pressure of bearing the burden of dealing with them.  Added to that, my sister and brother haven't spoken to each other in over a year - making me have to be in the middle.  I need for them to resolve their conflict (or at least agree to disagree) in order for us to be able to help our parents.